Our supercomputer on our shoulders does not have the “Delete all” option, although scientists around the world are struggling to find a cure for the most emotional among us. What they came up with the latest discovery, published in the journal Nature Neuroscience, says that modified electroshock therapy could help get rid of special emotional memories. Would you agree to that?
The biggest disaster that can happen to you when repairing a dilapidated but well-maintained computer is that you realize that with one stroke, your otherwise excellent master, counting that you listened to him when he told you what to do, erased everything. This “DELETE ALL” means that not a single carefully collected data folder has remained in the computer for years.
Is it also possible to erase some people in life with one reset, or at least all the bad emotions, all those ugly memories from the previous year, and really turn the page? Or even further, to erase those memories that torment us timelessly?
They say that the one who did not suffer in life did not live. And the more years it stays with you, the more chances you have of experiencing severe emotional pain. Everything is easy when you are young, except when your heartbreaks. For love, of course. When you fail to enroll in the Academy when someone dies for the first time when you are left without a pet when your neighbor cuts a rare tree brought and barely transplanted from Greece when your best friend betrays you. Or when even more serious things happen, and they happened…
No matter what hurts you, the limit of suffering is individual. There is no instrument that can measure pain, there is no scale that can tell you whether your grief is stronger than mine or your neighbor’s, whether you or your boyfriend suffer more when you quarrel forever. But that pain for love holds the royal position. That broken heart makes you such that from all the magazines and even more numerous self-help books, they teach us how to be able to suffer because it is also an art, which steps you have to go through while grieving for love. When a new door opens and new chances open, the word forgetfulness takes on real meaning.
But before time or work on yourself or circumstances do their thing, in some situations you need more than knowing that something will pass. Then, think, the Ctrl + Alt + Delete function and clicking Yes would be welcome. Without thinking, you would give everything just to stop being difficult. It is not the same to erase the memory and erase the emotion that accompanies it. When you remember the worst moment from elementary school, you may be laughing at him now, because he is funny, but then, then it was a problem that even Santa Claus could not solve for you personally. Then your soul hurt, and you didn’t know it would hurt you. But, now you would not change anything for that memory, because it is only yours.
Our supercomputer on our shoulders does not have the Delete all option, although scientists around the world are struggling to find a cure for the most emotional among us. What they came up with the latest discovery, published in the journal Nature Neuroscience, says that modified electroshock therapy could help get rid of special emotional memories. It sounds inhumane, but scientists explain that it is a procedure that manipulates human memory, the intervention of releasing electricity soon after it is summoned. It might be, they say, a cure for depression, post-traumatic stress disorder or addiction, all those destructive memories, and it would work wonders in treating some mental illnesses.
Although, for now, research does not show that treatments affect very old memories, nor is it known how they would affect very personal ones, scientists say their goal is to erase emotion, not just memory. Science will certainly move away from this, maybe the term will change due to a nasty association, but it is not clear whether it will ever be applied to a wider population than the one we call seriously mentally ill, which is currently being tested at very reputable world universities. There are many ethical issues involved, questions of consequences, and everything that such a procedure brings with it because no one knows what arises in our mind when it comes to removing what makes us apart.
Leaving aside this creepy term electroshock, we may conclude that we would understand why someone with severe trauma would like to remember nothing more or to remember but not feel. Would we then have the same understanding for someone’s quite ordinary reasons to start life as in the movie “Equilibrium”, with a modified type of serum for blocking emotions? In a moment of despair, would you do anything to have someone turn off the pain button on a certain topic, even if it was called a lobotomy?
Maybe while we are in pain, we want to forget as soon as possible. But, if we look at it more broadly, doesn’t the fact that we know how to suffer differentiates us from those who call themselves psychopaths due to the lack of certain emotions? Don’t all the memories we have to make us unique, the way life sculpted us? If there were no broken hearts, or depressed souls, who would write all those verses? Who would write books? And who would cry over “Forest Gump” or “Schindler’s List”? How would we know to distinguish what true love is, when we have suffered because of love, and when because of a hurt ego?
If this is the period when you have decided to turn over a new leaf, forget all the old pains, don’t worry, experts say that we will not die from a little sadness.
Serbian psychologist Milica Jaksich assures us that all feelings are human and can be endured. Although moods can negatively affect our physical health and the decline in quality of life, that still does not mean that we will die from them, says Milica.
“Emotions inform us that important changes are happening in the world around us, they usually do not last long and have their echo – we feel them in the body as well. Emotions can be pleasant and unpleasant, not good and bad. They encourage us to take action in order to adapt to the new circumstances. Their function is to adapt. When we experience these important changes in the external and internal world, we will evaluate them in certain ways, so that our emotions are a consequence of our assessments and beliefs. If the assessments are rigid, illogical, useless, and not based on reality – we will introduce ourselves to unnecessary emotional suffering. So when people say, “I can’t do this anymore,” they’re putting themselves in extra emotional suffering to block themselves. The meaning of adaptive emotions (although often painful) is just the opposite – motivating, and telling us: “Come on, you can do it”, says Milica Jaksich.
They say that the most stressful things that can happen to us in life are death, divorce, moving. Then some lose their head because of the emotions that overwhelm them. And this is the difference between those who know how to control them and those who know how to control emotions. Psychologist Milica Jaksich says that these situations have a common denominator – loss.
“Every loss has its suffering. Scientists have determined that we all go through the same phases of regret, and the time we need for that is different. It is important to be patient and give ourselves time and space to feel everything that the day brings. Suffering allows us to adapt to the new situation and helps us to focus our efforts on finding a new way of life, without that relationship. We will all face emotional suffering at some point. It is a necessary part of life. We all breathe, everyone’s heartbeats and we all suffer sometimes.
However, no matter how painful our emotions are, they do not control us and our behavior. We control our behavior. So, we will differ in what we do while suffering. Will we sail to live even when the winds are blowing, or will we wait for better weather conditions? Will we live our lives today, even though we recently lost a relationship that was very important to us? Will we build intimacy with someone else, even though we fear that one day we will lose that relationship as well? In order to succeed in that, it is necessary to bear our suffering in our day. She will be there while she is there, and we can deal with what is still important to us. Maybe not more important than what we lost, but still important. With this approach, we are dealing with our lives as they are now and we are dealing with the difficulties that today brings”.
We can choose to react in different, more useful ways for ourselves and the surrounding people, and thus develop good – self-help and helping habits.
“Emotions in themselves are not bad, it’s just our judgment about them because we don’t want them in our own skin. It is up to us to choose whether to embark on the trial process or the living process. If we view the relationship with ourselves and our own emotions as a struggle, there is every chance that we will lose, be it a battle or an entire war. A strategy in which we consider our emotions to be intruders, turn on our alarms, in this way we tell ourselves – to fight the enemy or at least keep him chained. This mechanism takes us away from a meaningful and quality life in the long run. If we hold our feelings by the throat, we will not be able to let them go our own way and we will not be able to embrace the day ahead. And the strategy that is helpful is to start your day, with everything he carries. “Maybe our inner world will not be sunny and bright on that occasion, but it is still possible to make a day worth living”.
That love that makes us enjoy or cry in life or a good song or movie, about which everything has already been said, can also be an experience that will teach or torment us.
People often say, “I will never love again” because they suffer greatly. There are no emotions that are unbearable because if there were, people would fall dead en masse – it would be something like an epidemic of a broken heart. Such an epidemic has not been identified so far, and in fact, it is our wrong estimates. The reality is that we are suffering greatly because we have lost something that was valuable to us. The choice is ours – how we will take advantage of the suffering we are experiencing today. Will we allow our experience to be our teacher or tormentor? If we choose first, we can peek into that suffering in a curious way and examine what it is that made that relationship so special. By researching your pain, you can learn everything about yourself, but that includes the willingness to roll up your sleeves and get to work. A job that primarily requires experiencing unpleasant emotions. Because to learn from them, you have to experience and listen to them. It is in this way that emotions become a source of personal wisdom. And with the help of that wisdom, we can build the relationships we value today and in the future”, concludes psychologist Milica Jaksich.
The point of this content is that we can’t change unpleasant memories, but we can have different feelings!
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