How many times have you applied for a job and been turned down?
Or did you work hard on a project that was not accepted in the end?
At least once, I’m sure, so I believe that the feeling of rejection is well-known to you.
There is a tendency towards success in human nature and it is quite normal that we experience rejection as a failure and we are automatically overwhelmed by thoughts that we are not good enough.
Rarely will anyone, the same seconds after experiencing rejection, think that this is actually the best thing that could have happened to him. Over time, however, things sort of get along, so we look around and realize that we’re just redirected to something better.
Here are some reasons that change your perspective and why your rejection will be used as fuel for your flight:
learn a lesson best when we experience it (and survive it). Let’s not lie – very few people learn from other people’s mistakes, most people learn from their own.
When we hear from friends or colleagues about their mistakes, we often think that it cannot happen to us, and even if it does, we will know how to react in the right way. And here we fall into a trap. A similar thing happens to us and we react … so very similarly … but when we hit our head against the wall, then we remember that lesson well.
Rejection forces us to reconsider, and reconsideration gives birth to new ideas
Whether it’s a rejection of a job or an idea / project that hasn’t been accepted, it’s natural to ask yourself why (unless you’re a conspiracy theorist and think someone turned you down because they don’t like you)?
The obtained constructive criticism will encourage us to change, to work, we will get a different perspective and new, fresh ideas. Often rejection open new vistas, enriches us with new experiences, and every experience – whether good or less good (I intentionally do not want to say bad) is worth only if we are mature enough and accept that we can learn from every situation.
So grab that experience and recycle it into an opportunity.
It teaches us independence
After every failure we realize that it is not the end of the world, with every failure we realize that we are growing and building ourselves, we are stronger and have the strength for the challenges ahead.
Whenever someone rejected us, in most cases, he did us a favor, because we learned to endure the strongest, relying only on ourselves. We can do a lot with other people, but only when we are left to ourselves will we realize how much we know and can.
We are leaving the comfort zone
It is best to avoid criticism if you do nothing. But if we don’t do new things, we will remain stuck in the same job, with the same skills and the same patterns of thinking.
On the other hand, when we experience rejection, it just means we need to do something we are not currently doing, learn new skills, or simply change the way we are currently doing.
By analyzing ourselves, we give ourselves the opportunity to develop, and by stepping out of the comfort zone, we are doing ourselves a huge favor.
Rejecting pain is less than regret
Yes, by doing new things, we run the risk of someone rejecting us and diminishing the value of our work, but we must not take that personally and allow failures to win and convince us that it is better not to persevere. Regret for missed opportunities hurts forever!
We study patiently
The personal, life story of J.K. Rowling is proof that with our perseverance and resourcefulness, we are capable of doing amazing things, that most obstacles have been overcome and that almost everyone can be successful.
When she finished her first book (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone) in 1997, she was turned down as many as 12 times in search of a publisher! The search lasted a year!
Patience is the key to success!
We should be grateful for some closed doors.
Everyone who said “no” to this act pushed us on the path we are on today… and that’s right”.
“Every single “no” will make the “yes” more important”!
How to survive rejection?
Each of us has experienced rejection. You may have been turned down when you tried to enroll in a school or college, when you applied for a job, when you approached a person you liked, or by friends and family, who at the time could not or did not want to meet your desire, request or need (there are important differences in that).
I will agree with you that rejection is a kind of unpleasant experience. But still, it’s an experience, isn’t it? A lot can be learned from experience, and in order to succeed, you need to first learn to accept rejection as an integral part of life, and not spend too much energy or time thinking about it.
If you keep coming back to it and thinking, “It shouldn’t have happened to me! I can’t stand this, no, I really can’t stand being rejected once again! It’s awful when they reject you! As soon as they reject me, that means I’m not worth anything and I’m incapable of it”, you will most likely be hurt, angry or even depressed. And that’s not good for you. In that case, you need to change your way of thinking, and later your behavior.
Some of you may already be in a vicious circle, so you avoid potential situations in which you may experience rejection (applying for a job, new relationship, new friends), then it is good to make an analysis of the benefits and harms of such further behavior. Profit and damage analysis can be done in the form of FOR and AGAINST, or in the form of GOOD and BAD for me, SHORT-TERM and LONG-TERM.
Namely, although rejection is not only unpleasant for some, but also a “terrible” painful experience, the consequences of avoiding it can be far worse for you. Ask yourself if the temporary discomfort and pain is bigger and more important than your goal, and if you will have more profit or damage in the long run if you continue to do so.
One quote says: “Most of the important and memorable things in this world were achieved by people who continued to work even when there seemed to be no hope”.
The most important thing is to motivate yourself to change, set a clear goal, and above all an attractive and / or valuable goal, which will motivate you to continue even when it is difficult. Of course, you will have difficult moments, that due to fear you may want to run away or not even try, but remember that is not your goal!
Your goal is to endure the inconvenience and: get a job, find a girlfriend, ask someone for a favor, enroll in the college you want, ask for a raise, get fired, have children, get divorced, travel the world…
It is important that you are focused on your goal, that you change your thoughts into thoughts that lead you to the goal, and those are thoughts that are logical, in line with reality and that benefit you. It could be, for example: “It would be very bad to be rejected, but it can happen (because if you look back, even your past, it happens to you and others all the time, right?), And it’s not terrible but only bad, and that does not mean that I am incompetent, but only that I am an imperfect human being”.
Therefore, you will only feel disappointed and sad, and from the position of a person who is neither angry nor depressed or anxious, you will be able to better understand the situation and see if the rejection was due to you or circumstances. For example, you have applied for a job, if it is up to you, then you will decide whether you will further improve or you will apply for positions for which you are qualified, if it is up to the circumstances – e.g. there is currently no need for your profession, you will move on instead of attributing rejection to yourself.
A few more tips:
Don’t take it too personally!
Sometimes they will reject us simply because of the awkward time when we ask for something, and sometimes it has nothing to do with us.
True, it’s hard to stay positive when you’re rejected, but they’re not the only ones who reject you. And sometimes you reject others, and sometimes rejecting other people open new vistas that are much more important to you. There is something good in bad. The more rational you are, the clearer you see the situation and the better you evaluate yourself and others. If it’s up to you, try to work on yourself and change.
Don’t judge yourself and avoid excessive self-criticism!
Being introspective is good, but sometimes we can be inclined to go into excessive analysis, self-criticism and guilt. With such negative feelings, we will hardly be able to rationally look at the situation or start trying again. Talk to someone from the environment, share your experience, be ready to hear more opinions. Try to change your way of thinking and blame yourself less. Negative thoughts often occur, but if you have trouble dealing with them and tend to stay in unhealthy emotions for a long time, then you can talk to an expert who will teach you new skills and ways of thinking.
Believe in yourself!
People will sooner or later start noticing you if you are your own. People who believe in themselves, spread such energy, are more attractive and successful. Don’t worry, it’s learning.
They all reject us all sometimes.
Seven billion people live on the planet, so you calculate how many people sometimes or never no one needs, how much love ends up. Just imagine that number and it will already be easier for you. We all have bad experiences, one way or another. Now imagine the number of companies in just one city. Have you really tried with all employers? Have you really tried to start your own business? Have you searched or are you waiting? Better weather, better people? It is not you who are waiting, but those who are going to meet.
Never give up!
Knock a hundred times, once the door will open. When you are rejected, it does not mean that you are unsuccessful, but that you need to improve yourself or change your goal. Dreams do not come true only when we give them up.
Think of it all as an experience!
It’s all in your head and how you react to rejection. Instead of getting depressed, angry, enjoy yourself, because you have found one more way to do something.
Remember one important fact: rejection does not define you!
May this knowledge motivate you to persevere in achieving your goals!
Where motivation begins, results begin. Where there is no motivation, there are no results. But there are frustrations.
I hope you liked the content about rejection?
If you have any questions or suggestions, please leave them in the comments!
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