How kindness killed Dr. Spock: A man must have moderation even in kindness!
He consciously sacrificed his private life for the sake of other children!
Dr. Benjamin Spock was an American pediatrician. An extremely famous writer of books on how to properly raise a child, he did not apply his knowledge to his own family. One of his sons killed himself, and the other was cold and distant. His wife was an alcoholic.
Dr. Spock was a good man. He advocated a humane attitude towards children. He literally sacrificed himself and his life for the sake of other people’s children.
During his practice, the doctor allowed the parents of sick children to call him at any time of the day or night. He himself stated that every mother knows her child best, and if she is bothered or has any doubts about his health, she should call a doctor immediately. And so the parents started calling.
In the doctor’s apartment, the phone rang for 24 hours. Just imagine that agony. Even one sudden call can shake your rut, and in the doctor’s house, it was a normal occurrence.
The humane doctor made another mistake: he took a minimal amount of money for his work. For the most humane reasons possible. In order to make ends meet and feed his family, he had to have many patients.
And the patients came complaining about the little things: the baby was torn; the child did not eat the whole lunch…
While Dr. Spock dealt with his patients and their mostly trivial health problems, his children’s childhood passed. Conflicts with a woman have become more frequent, because who else would want such a life?!
The good Dr. Spock was simply exhausted from caring for other children and did not notice that his son was “deviating from the path…”
Then it happened that Spock himself had to visit a psychotherapist and pay for the treatment with a large sum of money, and not with three coins that he took from the patient.
Dr. Spock’s merits are great, but there are people who take bread from their children to feed other children. They separate from their mouths so that someone there has, and maybe that someone has more than themselves.
In everything, even in goodness, one must have moderation. Everything requires discipline. It is not necessary to allow other people to trample you out of charity.
This is a sad story about a man who was humane and kind. And how kindness and humanism in large quantities can destroy a person, turning his life into hell.
Don’t let yourself turn into Dr. Spock. Take care of yourself and your children, and let others take care of their problems. Only help when someone really asks for it.
Here are his most famous quotes:
“If parents are completely preoccupied only with their child, constantly worried about him, they become uninteresting to others, and even to each other. They complain that the child’s god is determined to lead a life within four walls, even though they are to blame. To some extent, the first pregnancy marks the end of a woman’s carelessness. A woman understands that after the birth of a child, her entertainment will be very limited”.
“It is not surprising that a father has mixed feelings towards his wife during her pregnancy, or even while she is in the maternity ward or when she comes home with the newborn. But the husband must be reminded that his wife is much tougher than him”.
“If a young mother or father was despised and punished too much as a child – accordingly, they have certainly grown into insecure people, which they express by intolerance of criticism and a constant desire to confirm their independence”.
“Every parent must love their child as he is, and he must forget all those qualities that their child does not have. I give this advice for the most practical reasons. The fact is that a child who is loved and respected as he is growing up as a person who is confident in her abilities and loves life”.
“The result of education does not depend on seriousness or tenderness, but on your feelings towards the child and on those life principles that you instill in him”.
“A child who is afraid to separate from his mother will find it even harder to do so if the mother hesitates to divorce. If the mother is anxious and finds it difficult to separate from the child, she will really think that separation is a dangerous thing”!
“Sometimes it helps a child if you admit to him that you are angry with him. If you do this wisely, that confession will not undermine your authority”.
“A child was not born a liar and a fraud. If he often lies, then someone or something puts a lot of pressure on him. A lie says that some problem bothers him a lot”.
“What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel they need to do for their babies is usually the best that can be done”.
“As long as a person is a child, he learns to be a parent as well. When he becomes a parent, he is mostly a parent who is reliving his childhood”.
” Happiness is mostly a by-product that arises when we do what makes us fulfilled”.
“There are only two things that a child will be happy to share with others: a contagious disease and the mother’s age”.
“I would say that the most reliable indicator of a man’s or woman’s maturity is the harmony, style, happiness, and dignity he/she creates in his / her marriage and the satisfaction and inspiration he/she gives to his / her spouse”.
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