If you don’t respect yourself, others won’t respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!

If you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!

Healthy borders are not imaginary wall that separates people and destroys closeness, on the contrary.

It is nice and desirable for people to be kind, polite, and kind to each other. It’s nice to have friends. But if you are not careful, it can easily turn into constant satisfaction of others – conscious passive and conciliatory behavior to satisfy or at least not to upset another person.

True, this can be a great way to avoid conflicts, but in the long run, you will feel exhausted and unhappy.

When you change your actions based on what you think other people want – you will realize that it is very difficult to stay true to yourself. As a result of such behavior, you will develop low self-esteem, you will feel the pressure of too high expectations and you will find it difficult to reject people.

To avoid just such a scenario, I will give you tips that will help you stop pleasing people and stay true to yourself.

Be true to yourself instead of trying to fit in!

The most important thing to remember is that you have to stay true to yourself. Avoid doing things that you believe will look good in other people’s eyes.

Focus on what really interests, excites, and fulfills you. If you are asked to do something you do not feel comfortable with, do not be afraid to refuse. You can still be kind to people, but not by changing what you are. Stay true to yourself and people will respect you even more for that.

If you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!

Learn to say no!

Yes, this can be very difficult. But remember that it’s okay to put yourself first and say no if someone asks you for something you don’t want to do, something that is against your principles or you just don’t like it. The answer does not mean that you are selfish, but that you only take care of yourself.

Set healthy boundaries!

People who satisfy others are often unaware of the boundaries they need to set in their lives.

If you are wondering how to set your own boundaries, a great start would be to become aware of them first. It is important to start noticing what is happening around you and identifying those things that need to change. Make a list of things you do that make you feel unhappy or used. This strategy can allow you to stay true to yourself without feeling the need to please everyone.

Stop making excuses!

First of all, there is no need to apologize when you can’t or don’t want to do something. So the next time someone asks for a favor or asks you to do something that takes your time or energy, simply refuse without justification.

The moment you stop making excuses, you will have more time and energy to do what you really want. You will feel more in control of your life, and less in control of other people’s demands.

Listen to your inner voice!

Life is a journey and along the way, you will meet many people who will want different things from you. If you feel deep down that you are just serving someone as a doormat or that someone doesn’t appreciate you enough – stay away from them. That way, no one will be able to stop you from being happy and making your own decisions.

If you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!

Spend some time alone!

The time you spend alone is crucial to your mental and physical health. Many people are afraid to be alone because they worry that they will become lonely, upset, or bored. But spending time alone and in silence has many benefits – it can help you better understand your thoughts, feelings, and needs. It also helps us find out what makes us happy or unhappy. So, set aside some time in the day just for yourself and get to know your needs better.

Remember you can’t please everyone!

People’s needs vary from person to person and it is impossible to meet them all. If you try to please one person, you could hurt another. So try to behave authentically and people will appreciate you as you are.

Learn to be assertive and how to stand up for yourself!

Sometimes people are not aware that they are bothering you or doing something that does not suit you. These may be people who are close to you, with the best of intentions – but their actions can still hurt you or make you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

That is why it is important to know how to take your stand and oppose even those who love you. Say openly what bothers you or subtly let it be known that something is not right for you. It is important not to let others dictate how you will live your life and how you feel in your skin.

Ask others for help!

Seeking help is an important step in overcoming other people’s satisfaction. Start by asking a person close to you, such as your spouse or best friend, for feedback on how often they think or see that you are over-indulging others. It’s always good to listen to how things look from someone else’s perspective – who knows, maybe your eyes will open.

If you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!

Accept yourself as you are!

When you indulge in pleasing other people, you lose touch with what you really are. You begin to believe that your value is measured by what other people think of you. It becomes difficult for you to accept your flaws and imperfections – physical and mental. The more time and energy you spend trying to please someone else, the less time and energy you have for yourself or the things that matter most to you.

Stop worrying about what others think of you. It’s okay not to be perfect. We are all human and we all make mistakes. As long as we learn from our mistakes and as long as we are honest!

Be honest about how you feel!

When dealing with family and friends, honesty is a virtue. It is always better to say what is on your mind than to cultivate feelings of resentment or anger. When communicating with someone else about your feelings, it is important that they know about your true intentions and motives behind what you are saying. Being open to your feelings also helps other people understand you better. Remember, it’s always best, to be honest!

Don’t dwell on the past!

Thinking about past events will only provoke negative feelings and emotions such as regret or guilt. Don’t let these feelings overwhelm you.

Instead, start from the beginning, and the best way to do that is to get rid of things that burden you and prevent you from being the best version of yourself. You don’t have to maintain relationships with toxic people in your life or with those who have used your kindness for too long just because you are bound by something from your shared past.

Put yourself first!

It’s about understanding what you want out of life and making it your priority. You can only get this if you don’t let other people’s needs come first. People who satisfy everyone are often unhappy and stressed because they cannot achieve what they want on their own. So, learn how to stick to your priorities and put your needs first, even if it means disappointing others.

If you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you – the most important thing you can do for yourself!


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