Although many young women think that as they age, charm and happiness will disappear, in fact, women in middle age are often much happier than when they were young. It is true that even in these years certain mistakes are made. But, as they enter their mature years, especially between the ages of 50 and 70, they realize how pointless some things they used to worry about were – they devote more time to themselves, their needs, and desires. In those years, many women discover new views of life and look at things from a different, often much brighter perspective.
Ten women in their 50s revealed to a forum what they would do differently if they could turn back time.
Thoughts of mature women
1. “I would tell my younger self to stop being afraid of being alone. I made so many bad decisions just to never be without a lover for even 10 seconds”.
2. “I wouldn’t start smoking. I thought it was cool – it’s just unhealthy”.
3. “If only I hadn’t let other people’s fears/ignorance affect me so deeply that I disregard my own ambitions/dreams to please them. It took me decades to undo that “good girl” behavior”.
4. “I would focus more on education. In high school, I would concentrate on mastering reading comprehension. I have to read something three times, and I often have to take professional courses when I don’t understand the material. I was the third child. So, my parents loved me, but they were relaxed in their upbringing. I feel like I had to work harder for everything I’ve achieved. It made me act tougher and show authority because I’m always trying to prove my credibility”.
5. “I would believe more in myself and my talents. Now I see that what I was and what I did led me to a satisfying life. But if I could change anything, I would believe more in my talents when I was young. If only I had realized earlier that I could achieve my book-writing ambitions if only I stuck with it and kept moving forward. I was so impatient for success that I quit my job and changed majors when success didn’t come quickly”.
6. “I would spend more time with my child”.
“I wish I had played with my daughter when she was younger. I was educated, worked, and was poor. I really wish I had put everything else aside and had more tea parties for her stuffed animals with her”.
7. “I would dance more. I was always reserved and before my 20s I decided not to dance. And while I was on the sidelines at parties, other people were enjoying themselves with the music. I always tell my children that I would dance all the time if I could turn back time and that I wouldn’t care what others thought – they probably weren’t even looking at me anyway”.
8. “I wouldn’t have worried so much about my appearance. In my 20s and 30s, a career as a PR manager put me in front of the camera and I rarely passed a mirror without fixing my hair, checking my teeth, and reapplying my lipstick. I wouldn’t sleep if I saw my chin while talking or laughing. My husband and my friends accept and love me for who I am, not what I look like. Now I focus on my inner beauty and strength”.
9. “I would be kinder to myself. I would take a deep breath before reacting and realize that I didn’t have to have an opinion about everything. When I felt threatened, left out, or misunderstood, I would shut down or fight to be heard. It was so much stress that I ended up getting sick, which forced me to face my fears. I learned that I can be more relaxed in any situation by simply taking a breath and putting my feet on the floor to slow down the adrenaline and cortisol. It reduced my chaos and conflicts in life and deepened relationships with others”.
10. “If I could do something differently, I would take a break more often and enjoy life”.
“When you are younger, your anxiety and desire to have everything creates an imbalance. With maturity, I was able to achieve calmness and empowerment in all areas of my life”.
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