What to do with fear?

What to do with fear?

The sentence “Fear the ram, fear the s***. And when will I live? ” Serbian writer Mesa Selimovic from his work “Fortress”, beautifully and in the vernacular, illustrates what fear can do for the quality of our lives, that is, the violation of the same. If we go through the same life constantly fearing real and/or imagined dangers, how much energy do we actually have left to deal with other things? Not much. And our minds can be quite creative when it comes to constructing all possible and impossible catastrophic scenarios that in most cases don’t even happen.

If we are a little interested in how to overcome some fear, in whatever form it was (as fear, as anxiety, as a phobia), we can find some truly useful solutions, no matter where they are sought. There is almost no man who is not afraid of anything, so fear is a universal phenomenon present among people since the dawn of civilization.

In addition to holding us back and preventing us from living life to the fullest, fear can actually be good. Fear is, in fact, quite constructive, because it often saves our lives. When we are faced with sudden danger, we react instinctively, and it is this instinctive reaction that is caused by the emotion of fear. The physiological component of the emotion of fear ensures that, in the face of danger, we fight or flee. Fear, therefore, has a very important role in survival. But, the just mentioned creativity of our minds leads to the fact that today we are afraid of everything and everything and that the expectation that something bad will happen prevents us from coming out of the cocoon into which fear has tucked us and being free.

What to do with fear?

The good news is that today, a very large number of people decide to do something to stop the fear from holding them back. To learn a technique that will help him/her to overcome real or imagined obstacles that fear has set on the way to a goal. The even better news is that a very large number of techniques and ways in which this can be done are available today.

What to do with fear?

What an extremely large number of such conceptions suggest is one truly useful thing – face your fear. Today, it is very well-known and widespread, so even people who are not close to this topic know what the only cure for fear is, and that is confrontation. Many have faced and are facing their fears, more or less, successfully. Yet many fears remain there, after a confrontation. What, then, is wrong with coping as a technique for overcoming fear? Why doesn’t it work flawlessly, when we know that running away will not help, but we need to be really brave and face what is holding us back and what we would like to get rid of?

What’s wrong with facing?

The truth is the following – everything is fine with the confrontation. And confrontation is really the only way to overcome fear, and it has been proven so many times in practice that it would be a waste of time to look for alternatives when we know that this works. To work. What is it that goes wrong?

Then I realized, and that is what psychotherapists, who help others to successfully deal with their fears, usually mean. And, this is often promoted to all those who advise confrontation as the best method. And that is – confrontation, in the context of fear, is not one-time. It is not enough to face once and then the fear is over. Once you get in the elevator, once you touch the spider, once you climb to the top of a tall building. You go in, you go out and it’s over. And that is what confrontation as such most often implies. You face it and that’s it, you’re free.

No, confrontation is a process that requires repeating actions!

One confrontation means nothing. It is necessary to implement it consistently, with the same fear that prevented that confrontation. The fear will be there, but our attitude towards that fear will be different. We know we can survive it. And then we face once and at the same time, we are afraid. And we are afraid most of the time. Sometimes the sixth and seventeenth. And we do it all the time – we face it and go in the opposite direction from what fear leads us to. The same fear diminishes over time. Because we don’t feed him, we don’t listen to what he tells us, we don’t like him. We choose to do something different from what that fear drives us to do. We do not give him our time and energy and he fades with time. How much time is needed for that, is a question and differs from person to person, from fear to fear, but confrontation is not one-time courage. Confrontation is consistency, patience, and the ability to take our fear with us and do what is our own will and intention, free from the dictatorship of fear.

What to do with fear?

 

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