The idea, or rather value, to never give up on the way to the goal, is rooted in our everyday life, just like the idea that one should only be happy in life and that other feelings are undesirable.
At first, indeed, the desirable trait is to be persistent, persevering and patient, and to strive to achieve the goal we set for ourselves. And it is desirable to find a way, overcome the obstacle and stay on the path that leads to the goal. But does that mean you should NEVER give up?
Although persistence, perseverance, and patience are very desirable traits, from time to time it is desirable to reconsider the set goal or at least the way we plan to achieve it, if, despite our intensive efforts, we have difficulty reaching the goal. A constructive examination can lead us to change the strategy of reaching the goal or completely abandon the goal and set a new one.
When does your own persistence work against us? I will explain to you in the following text!
Why is it difficult to reconsider or give up on setting goals?
As social beings, among other things, we adopt the values that our environment nurtures. Accordingly, we strive to act in accordance with these values. We understand very early on which patterns of behavior are desirable, which are approved and rewarded by the environment, so we adhere to these patterns of behavior from an early age. If the environment nurtures the values of not giving up, perseverance, persistence, it is likely that it will become our values as well. We will try to be persistent, patient and never give up, even if it is to our own detriment. What we value as highly desirable, we rarely question.
In performing daily activities, we are motivated in different ways, but the final assessment of whether we did something well or not, we draw from the comments, criticism, or praise of our environment. It happens that we are sometimes “trapped” between the expectations of the environment and our own desires, so we recognize that we try to meet other people’s standards and desires, hoping to achieve what is expected of us and meet all standards and requirements (if possible to exceed them!).
In this regard, one of the very common reasons why we do not want to give up is the fear of failure. That is, the belief that if we do not achieve what we set out to do at any cost, we are unsuccessful, less valuable, incompetent… So, we put in front of us demands that we must succeed and persevere in everything we do. We often forget that although success is desirable, it is not necessary. Along with various “musts” for everything to be perfectly good, there are also emotions that are revengeful. Although it is desirable to be persistent and succeed, that does not mean that we must always succeed and be perfectly good in everything.
How to reconsider your desires and needs and feel good?
There are a few things to keep in mind when rethinking what our own desires and needs are and how to approach them. Those are:
★ Get rid of the requirement that you have to be perfect in everything!
Demanding perfection in every field is very difficult and exhausting. Therefore, it is desirable to get rid of the requirement that we must always be perfect in everything we do and allow ourselves to make mistakes. By getting rid of this requirement, we give ourselves the opportunity to give up some activities and save resources for activities that are more important to us.
★ Try to reach your maximum, but not the general maximum!
It is okay to strive to realize your potential to the maximum, but striving to reach the general maximum and be the best in everything is almost impossible. Then you do not fight to be the best version of yourself, but better than others, which brings you a constant race and competition with a large number of people. The constant racing and competition are exhausting and you don’t have enough time to do what you want.
★ The process is important, not just the outcome!
Although it is nice to achieve the goal we truly want, the process of reaching the goal is also important. In life, it is necessary to enjoy, every day, various activities. The outcome is the end of the road, but the process of reaching the outcome itself takes longer. If the process is neglected or arduous, the question is how much do we really enjoy the outcome?
★ Get rid of environmental requirements and standards!
While the environment is important, try to identify your own values, needs, and desires and design your own goals accordingly. That doesn’t mean you’re a selfish person. Keep making compromises and keeping in touch with people around you, but please yourself.
★ Respect your psycho-physical limits!
Listen to your body and allow it to rest on a daily, weekly and annual basis, eat regularly, and engage in at least a minimum of physical activity. If you often feel tired, sad, or irritable, it is time to reconsider your own desires and needs. The body sends us signals every day – we just need to learn to listen to them.
Once we learn to distinguish ourselves from our own goals, in the sense that they are only one aspect of our personality, not the personality as a whole; and when we manage to recognize what we truly want and choose for ourselves, it will be easier not only to move on the path to the goal we set but also to change the goal and find pleasure in the journey to it. Otherwise, life can pass us by chasing the unattainable, in the belief that only the goal is what matters and that we are worthless until we reach it. The stakes are, therefore, great, and the good news is that it is up to us to choose how we will position ourselves and thus take responsibility for our choices.
I hope you liked the content about persistence?
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